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How Can I Help My Beloved Experience Pleasure When We Make Love?

Advice to a Young Couple with Sexual Difficulties

Reader Question

My fiancé doesn't get any pleasure making love. Is there a particular chakra I/we should work with, or are there other things we can do?

Nancy's Answer

2nd Chakra: Pleasure

For issues regarding sexuality and pleasure, you and your fiancee should both definitely work on your 2nd chakras. She and you can choose any of the exercises in the section of the Chakra Care book titled “How to Clear, Balance and Nurture Your Second Chakra.” You both should choose the activities that appeal to you.  You can do them alone or together.  Just do them with the intention to support the 2nd chakra.

4th Chakra: Heart Connection

I also recommend you both do some of the activities in the book section “How to Clear, Balance and Nurture Your Fourth Chakra.”  This will help to strengthen the love and connection between you. Deepening the bond between you will help your fiancee to deepen her trust of you, which may in turn allow her to be more open sexually.

5th Chakra: Communication

And, I also suggest that the two of you do activities in the Chakra Care section  “How to Clear, Balance and Nurture Your Fifth Chakra.”  The idea here is to support strong communication between you, which is essential in every marriage, both for the relationship part and for the sexual part. The best sexual relationships are one in which the partners talk to each other about what they like and don’t like, what works and what doesn’t, how they are feeling toward each other both in the bedroom and out of it. Working with your fifth chakra will help with this.

Healing the Past

Also, beyond working with your chakras, if there are things that happened in your fiancee’s past that are making it hard for her to enjoy making love, she may need to see a counselor to help her process and heal them. Even if nothing emotionally/sexually damaging happened to her in her childhood or youth, in many cultures and/or families, young girls are taught that sex is bad. Then they get engaged or married and suddenly sex is supposed to be good and they’re expected to immediately drop all of those years of training about the evils of sex. Understandably, this can be hard for many young women. Love and patience are necessary.

Educate Yourselves

And finally, I suggest you both do some reading and learning about the female body and sexuality.  Female sexual response is different than male, and learning more about it can be helpful for both of you. It also may be helpful for you to expand your repertoire of lovemaking techniques.

I hope this helps. Your love and concern for your fiancee is commendable. I think you will make a good husband!  I wish you both a long and happy life together.



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