The Energy Healing Blog

When You’ve Really Screwed Up: Advice to a Reader

----by Nancy Hausauer

Reader Question:

Pema Chodron Quote

I left my husband for someone, and then that person left me. I carry so much sadness, anger, shame and resentment that I'm unable to move forward in my life. I caused much pain to those I love. Yet I still deeply miss the man I left my husband for. What can I do to heal myself and clear this darkness?

Nancy's Answer

Clearly you are suffering, and I'm sorry.

There's a saying I love, by the Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron. It may be important for you:

"Whatever is happening is the path to enlightenment."

I love this because it's so forgiving. When I've messed up—as we all do, don't think you're alone in this—it helps me feel that whatever I've done, it's the jumping-off point for my next stage of awareness and evolution, the opportunity to learn something I really needed to learn. If you can view your situation in this way, it will help you forgive yourself and shift your energy so that you can move forward.

It does you no good to label what you've done as bad, or label what your lover did as bad. Just be conscious of your actions, look at all of it as clearly as you can, with as little judgement as you can, and use it all to gain self-insight and to evolve.

Of course there's also the issue of the suffering that we cause others, which you refer to.

(And by the way, it's not possible to live and not cause some degree of suffering to other beings. So you're not alone in this, either. To some extent it's part of the human condition.

So we try to minimize the amount of suffering we cause, and when we do cause suffering despite our best intentions, we ask for forgiveness and try to mitigate the damage we've inflicted. And then we try to evolve so that we cause less and less suffering and do more and more good for others and for ourselves.)

Return To Alignment With Your Highest Self

In order to pull yourself back into energetic alignment with your highest vibration (or highest self), you need to repair your relationship with your children and come back into full integrity with them. This is a "do whatever it takes" situation. Your own heart will never heal fully until you have healed whatever wounds were caused there.

This may take time, but just keep showing up, physically and emotionally, keep being there and being consistent for them, keep having their best interests at heart, in whatever ways you can.

If you do nothing else, do this. Do it for the rest of your life (the exact way you do it will change as they grow up, of course), not as a penance, but as a devotion.

Continue reading. . .

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Use the Season of Summer to Feed Your Energy Field

--by Nancy Hausauer

First raspberry

Summer officially starts June 20 (or June 21, depending where you are).* Like every season, Summer has its particular wisdom to impart about living in harmony with our energies. One of its important lessons is about absorbing, savoring and appreciating:

  • absorbing light
  • savoring sweetness
  • appreciating beauty.

It's easy to get caught up in life's hustle and bustle, marching through the wonders of our world unconsciously, lost in thought, so busy that we forget how quickly summers fly by, flowers fade, children grow up, the circus moves on to the next town.

Some moments are perfect: sweet, warm and beautiful, like a lazy, rose-scented afternoon. Summer reminds us to be fully present for these moments. They feed our energy fields, making them strong and vibrant and helping to keep them from becoming depleted during leaner and more challenging times.

Feed Your Field

This summer (and all year long), be an apprentice to the wisdom of the season. Drink deeply of the things that feed your soul. Whenever you encounter light, beauty, sweetness and joy, bring them fully into your body and your energy field.

Here are a few ideas for doing that:

  • Take a single ripe berry and really enjoy all its sensory qualities.

  • Devote a whole day to enjoying a particular sense.

  • Meditate on a flower, noticing as many things about it as you can.

  • Watch a whole sunset or sunrise.

  • Lie down on a blanket and marvel at the starry sky.

  • Take a morning or afternoon off and do nothing. (No TV or electronics.)

  • Cook a meal that epitomizes summer. Enjoy it with someone or ones.

  • Enjoy breathing.

A Poem That Says It All

This excerpt from Mary Oliver's poem "A Summer's Day" captures the kind of radical presence and savoring I'm talking about:

… I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?


Have a beautiful, nourishing summer.

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*(Of course, it's Winter Solstice for those in the Southern hemisphere.)

Alchemy: Transmuting Difficult Life Experiences to a Higher Energy Level

--by Nancy Hausauer

Painting by Pietro Longhi  Public Domain,”></p><p class=We all have difficult and unpleasant experiences in our lives. From minor things like getting stuck in traffic, to major ones like the death of a loved one, they're part of our human journey.

But even though they're common, they can drag us down—unless we make the effort to transmute them into a higher energy level. Learning to do this as a habit can change the tone of our whole lives.

The major life events are hard to work with. Practicing with minor ones can both improve our everyday lives, and help prepare us for dealing with life's big losses and difficulties.

How do you transmute difficult or unpleasant experiences to a higher level? Here's an example.

The Disappointing Workshop

A friend and I had been to a much-anticipated workshop. In one of the main exercises, she had been paired with someone with huge needs and little ability to perform the content of the exercise when it came her turn. It was an extreme mismatch, and very disappointing to my friend.

She was trying hard not to let it get her down, but it was weighing on her. So we worked with the incident to "raise its calibration." Our aim was to get up to a higher perspective so that we could see the value of the lesson, transforming it from an unsatisfactory energy-drain to a higher-level energetic experience.

We processed her experience for a while, looking at it from different angles. In the end, it seemed she could get the most value from it by viewing it as a sort of shamanic event, with her needy workshop partner acting as a messenger bringing her clear, embodied insight into what she did NOT want and reinforcing the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing her own needs.

It was also valuable to view it as having a homeopathic quality: a small amount of what she didn't want, to help her activate her capacity to reach for what she did want.

From these perspectives, she was able to pull herself out of the trough she was slipping into and "alchemize" the incident, raising its vibration and turning it from lead into gold.

Use Your Own Creativity

These are just a couple of examples. Another helpful reframing can be to view any experience as an ideal springboard for whatever's next in your evolution or life journey. As Eckhart Tolle says, "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness."

I'm not proposing a formula for transmuting difficult experiences, though, rather encouraging you to apply your own creativity to the process.

Is this "alchemical" process always possible? I'm not sure. Some things need to "breathe"—they need time and space. Particularly traumatic experiences often benefit from professional help and guidance.

But in the meantime, practicing with the small stuff can be transformative.

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The Ripple Effect When We Heal Ourselves

----by Nancy Hausauer

Do you ever wonder, "Is my personal healing just self-centered, or is it important in the grander scheme of things? Does it have a positive effect on the wider world?"

I recently received an astonishingly concrete answer to that question.

Your personal healing matters. It ripples out and helps others heal.

I had been to a retreat/workshop that had worked with personal and group healing specifically through the energy of the Divine Feminine. I have a strong affiliation with elephants, and for one of the workshop exercises had brought an elephant figurine, symbolic to me of female community and strength.

My first client after returning from the retreat was Avery, an artist and visionary with strong intuitive gifts. The last nine months, we've been working with the aftermath of a concussion she received in a fall. One of the most disturbing effects for Avery was that her visions and intuition went completely underground. No dreams, no colors, no images, no visions, no psychic experiences for 9 long months.

Carving of elephant

That morning, Avery walked in grinning broadly and said, "I had a dream Saturday night. It's the first dream I've had since the concussion. It was really powerful and it felt like a huge leap forward in my recovery... But first let me ask, did you do something with elephants recently?"

My mouth fell open. The retreat was 400 miles away, and Avery had known nothing about it, let alone details such as the elephant figurine and its symbolic importance for me. After I filled her in briefly, she shared her dream, to our mutual amazement:

She had dreamed she was carried and supported by a loving female elephant, a vivid and emotionally powerful experience. She cradled Avery between her ears, making a super-low rumbling sound that resonated throughout Avery's body. The elephant tenderly put her down and the dream ended.

At that point we both got giddy. Her powerful intuition was back in full force, serving as the channel for dream material that was both beautiful and healing.

But her intuitive dream also showed that she had somehow tapped into our retreat, or that our work there had rippled out to include her. Whatever the exact mechanism, that link had helped restore her wholeness. Like elephants, who seem to be able to mysteriously communicate over long distances, our work had touched her, nearly 2 states away.

If I'd ever doubted whether our individual healing work benefits others, I do no longer. In this beautiful web of life that contains and connects us all, how could my return to balance and wholeness not help to restore you to yours?

Wishing you awareness of your deep interconnectedness with all that is, Nancy

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I Want To Help But I Don't Want To Take On My Friend's Energy

Reader Question

Energy Healing Session

I've read your article on helping a headache using the Pain Pump technique. I want to ask about the "pump" part, in which I "pump" with my right hand so my left hand siphons dark energy out of the person, which then goes through my left arm, crosses my chest to my right arm and is released through my right hand.

My question is, as that dark energy for whatever illness goes through my body, can a part of it get stuck in my body, causing the same illness in me? I'm a healer and I love it, but yesterday I did the pump remotely for a friend with cancer and started wondering if I could take on the energy of his illness.

Nancy's Answer

An excellent question. [The Pain Pump technique described is here.

First, I think that thinking of the energy you're working with as "dark" isn't helpful. I view energy that causes pain or illness as being out of balance. That's much more neutral, and that mind-set can really help in maintaining your own balance and health as you work with others. In other words, there's nothing inherently wrong with the energy. It can't hurt you—it's just out of balance for that person.

Second, as a good general practice, make sure that you hold the intention to keep your own energy distinct from that of the person you are working with. This page on not taking on your client's energy might help.

Third, when I do the Pain Pump technique I make sure that I am visualizing the energy running over the outside of my body, not through it. I'm not sure it really matters, but it makes me more comfortable. (BTW, I've used this technique on extreme pain and have never felt that I was taking on the energy of the person I was doing it for.)

Fourth, just don't do a technique you aren't comfortable with. Follow your intuition. There are so many different ways to do energy work, there's no need to do something that you're not sure about.

It's also really important that you take care of your own energy. You might like this page about healer self-care.

I hope that helps. Best wishes, both to you and your friend—Nancy

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Body Symptoms as Portals Into Your Life

----by Nancy Hausauer

In our culture, we consider "our self" to be a different thing from "our life." Two related but separate things. I AM Nancy, and I HAVE a life. The language of that shows that we consider our life to be a kind of object — something that we possess.

In my mind, "self" includes the things we conventionally think of—body, mind, emotions, spirit, energy (body-mind for short)—AND it also includes your life. One big, inseparable entity. Another way of saying it is that you are both a noun and a verb.

NASA depiction of wormhole travel

This "unified theory of self" yields some interesting approaches to healing.

Next time you have an imbalance in your body-mind—- one that causes pain, disfunction or illness—-try viewing it not as an isolated or purely physical event, but as a portal into your life—kind of like a "wormhole" in science fiction. Let your physical symptoms transport you to places in your life that need to be rebalanced.

  • Where does the portal/wormhole take you? Look around. What do you see? What do you learn? Are there any messages there, any information? Any people or objects who have something to tell you or give you?
  • It can be helpful to treat what you encounter as a dream, regarding the various objects, people and aspects as symbols. You can dialog with them to explore meaning.
  • It can also be helpful to stand up and allow your body to act out the meaning of the imbalance.

A Real-Life Example

This may seem pretty abstract, so here's an example from my own life.

My knees started bothering me, not just hurting, but actually "going out." On a physical, practical level, I could trace it back to a couple of falls I took while leaping up in the middle of the night to help my dog Buddy, who was ill. I could also see that doing a lot of kneeling on the ground to attend to him was stressing my knee joints and tendons.

But when I brought my consciousness to my knee pain and allowed it to give me a view into that other aspect of myself, my life, it took me to the kneeling state and to the realization that my concern for my canine companion was out of balance. I was too concerned, hyper-vigilant and attending to his needs without enough regard for my own. As much as I loved him, I needed to restore balance and put some healthy separation between us.

On a practical level, this awareness allowed me to resist kneeling to tend to him to the point of stressing my knee joints. On an emotional level, it helped me let go of identifying so much with his suffering.

That was much healthier. My knees improved and I expect them to improve even more over time.

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Reframing Illness As An Opportunity For Greater Wholeness

----by Nancy Hausauer

Physical and mental/emotional symptoms of distress are--distressing.

Illness, pain, anxiety, depression. When we have them, we want to fix them, fast. We don't normally stop to think about their "value." That's natural, a biological instinct.

But sometimes we're called to take a deeper look.

Maybe it's because we're in a profession that deals with other peoples' symptoms of distress, day in and day out.

Or maybe it's because we ourselves have to deal with a chronic ailment--our own suffering or that of someone we love.

In any case, sometimes circumstances push us into questioning the deeper WHY of physical/emotional ailments, turning our usual approach on its head and looking for possible usefulness or value in them.

Along that line of thinking, I love this quote by Dr. Martin Rossman, M.D., an expert in mind-body medicine:

...The symptoms of illness often can be seen as signals for attention or ways of making us aware of needs that are not being met. Thus if we learn to pay attention to our body's signals or symptoms in a certain way, we can actually learn something from an illness that helps to bring us back into alignment with our potential for wellness.

For we are always trying to maintain our alignment, balance, and growth in accordance with our purpose in life, whether we are fully conscious of that purpose or not. And there is a way of seeing and relating to symptoms that can actually help us to align the flow of energy in accordance with that purpose--a way that allows us to see illness as an opportunity. . . [emphasis mine]

--from "Illness As An Opportunity for Healing," Healers on Healing

Viewing illness as opportunity to realign with our purpose in life, our life-path--that's so much more empowering than the conventional medical model's approach.

Of course, we don't want to court illness or suffering as a source of wisdom, and of course we do want to use what conventional medicine has to offer.

But if life presents us with a potential path back to wholeness and balance--why on earth not take it? Why would we NOT explore an opportunity to "realign with the flow of energy in accordance with our purpose"?

If you can find Healers on Healing, by the way, it's a great book. (Published by Tarcher/Putnam in 1989. Don't know if it's still in print.)

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The Two Most Valuable Energy Healing Techniques

----by Nancy Hausauer

Just Show UpEnergy healing can seem complicated. You might wonder, is there a single best energy healing technique, or are there best techniques for particular situations?

It's good to have a repertoire of techniques and tools, but sometimes we can get bogged down in them. At its foundation, energy healing is simple. Let me illustrate with an example from my own life.

A Personal Story

Our dog, Buddy, died recently. My husband and I had a hard month trying to get him well and then, when we realized that his time to die was coming soon, trying to keep him comfortable.

For two weeks we kept thinking he was going to die imminently. We'd hover over him to see if he was still breathing. Then he'd snap back, diminished but still enjoying life. He needed intensive care, sometimes around the clock. I was wearing out, and of course I was so very sad about losing him.

Energy healing helped Buddy. It didn't save his life, of course, because it doesn't do that when it's someone's time to die. But it calmed him down and let him rest when nothing else would help. It gave him some space to savor his remaining time in this wonderful world.

But he wasn't the only one needing help. I was a train wreck, physically, mentally and emotionally. There were two invaluable, very basic "energy healing techniques" that helped me so much.

The Two Most Important Things You Can Do For Someone In Need

I was helped immensely by friends who did two very powerful things:

1. They held the loving intention to help me regain my balance, rebuild my strength and be able to do my best for my beloved dog.

2. They showed up.

Nothing fancy. Just their presence and loving intentions for our family steadied me, balanced me and helped replenish my drained energy.

Never Doubt That You Can Help

The reason I'm writing about this is that it's easy to doubt yourself, to think that you're not "enough." But if you have a friend or family member who's struggling with something difficult, all you really have to do is hold the intention to help them, and then show up—physically if you can or by phone, text, email or snail mail if you can't. If they want you to do energy healing for them, great. If they want you to hold their hand or wash their dishes or just listen, great. Whatever it is, you just do your best (what else can you do?), knowing this:

We are all energy beings, and your loving presence, however you express it, is energy healing at its simplest and most powerful. You ARE enough.

With so much gratitude for the people in my life who show up for me—Nancy

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The Healing Power of Joy: What Early Summer Has to Teach Us

----by Nancy Hausauer

Beltane ritual

Western culture is, for the most part, waaaaaaay too joy-deprived. I don't mean thrill-deprived. Cheap thrills are a dime a dozen. I mean genuine, deep-seated, heart-centered joy.

To me, this is a culture-wide second chakra deficiency. We tend to work too hard, minimize the need for pleasure and fun, and trivialize or even demonize what I would call simple, animal joy -- the joy of being alive, the joy of just being.

That's why I love the Celtic holiday of Beltane. Coming on May 1, it marks the beginning of the beginning of summer. A fertility holiday, it was traditionally celebrated with bonfires. Farm animals were decorated and blessed. Rituals to promote fertility (life force and creativity) were observed.

In the Pacific Northwest, where I live, this season is glorious. The the trees have come back all fresh and green, the rhododendrons and azaleas are blooming, the air is sweet with perfume from all the "green people."

For me, it's a yearly call to be joyful, a reminder that joy is more than a luxury. For those of us who tend to be over-serious and fun-challenged, it's a medicine. For energy healers, it's especially important to cultivate joy. We need to feed and balance our energy so we can keep doing the work we do without depleting ourselves.

How about you? Are you fun-deprived? Has it been too long since you felt joyful just to be alive?

Here are some ideas for "joy medicine":

  • Make a list of things that give you joy, and DO THEM! (Here are more detailed instructions for making your personal "Joyful Life Map.")
  • Learn more about your second chakra and how to support and nourish it.
  • Taking a cue from the Beltane bonfires, ask yourself, "What 'lights my fire'?" Journal about it. Pick one or two things that stand out and do them.
  • Take a break from your responsibilities and do something purely for pleasure and fun.
  • Stop and breathe in the energy of the season.
  • Celebrate your own beauty.
  • Feed all five senses with beauty and pleasure.
  • If you have small children or an animal companion, let them show you how to find joy in simple things.
  • Create something. Creation is an expression of life force, and it feeds both the second chakra and our joy in being alive.

Have fun! -- Nancy

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Tools To Focus Your Precious Life Energy

--by Nancy Hausauer


A few weeks ago, I introduced an exercise in self-discovery, "Who Do You Admire?" If you haven't done it yet, I recommend you scroll down a few posts (5) to the blog "Letting Your Highest Self Shine Through: An Equinox Contemplation," and give yourself that gift.

Below are a couple of followup exercises, to help you further focus your intentions for your life.

Personal Mission Statement

Why a personal mission statement? Intention is so powerful, and setting a personal mission statement helps you set an clear intention for your life (at least at this moment), and stay on track with it. It helps you channel your energy, conserve your energy, know what to say yes and no to. It helps create a sense of purpose, increase clarity, fine-tune your focus.

It can be one sentence or a few paragraphs, but here's a very simple template to use:

I, [your name here], intend to use my gifts and skills of x, y and z to [how you would like to leave the world better than you found it].

For example, my working personal mission statement is: I, Nancy Hausauer, intend to use my gifts and skills of communication, subtle awareness, creativity and radical thinking to help others expand their consciousness and heal their lives by moving beyond the current reality paradigm.

Definitely include words from the "Who Do I Admire" exercise.

This article is excellent if you need some more direction.

As an alternative, if a personal mission statement isn't your thing, try free-writing about "What Is Life Calling Me To?"

Life Balancing Exercise

  1. Now write down the major areas of your life (sleep, work, spiritual life, family, self-care, home chores, friends, fun, etc.). Include the percentage of time you spend cultivating your highest self and living your personal mission statement.
  2. Estimate the percentage of each day (or week or month) you spend doing each.
  3. Draw a large circle. Divide it into pie-shaped wedges representing those percentages.
  4. Consider: Are you making room for your unique qualities and your singular life-mission, as you understand it to be at this time?
  5. Draw another "pie chart" representing how you'd like your life to be.
  6. Compare. What do you learn? Does your behavior align with your highest intentions? Do you feel called to take any action or make any changes?

I encourage you to post both your life mission statement and your ideal "time pie" somewhere in your home where you can see them regularly.

Namaste, Nancy

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Learn more about energy healing, including practical tips for more health and happiness. (Visit The Energy Healing Blog to see what you’ll be getting.) I’ll also give you two gifts: my "Seven Chakras at Glance" chart and "First Chakra: Get Beyond Anxiety To A Sense Of Peace And Security."

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