The Energy Healing Blog

I Want To Help But I Don't Want To Take On My Friend's Energy

Reader Question

Energy Healing Session

I've read your article on helping a headache using the Pain Pump technique. I want to ask about the "pump" part, in which I "pump" with my right hand so my left hand siphons dark energy out of the person, which then goes through my left arm, crosses my chest to my right arm and is released through my right hand.

My question is, as that dark energy for whatever illness goes through my body, can a part of it get stuck in my body, causing the same illness in me? I'm a healer and I love it, but yesterday I did the pump remotely for a friend with cancer and started wondering if I could take on the energy of his illness.

Nancy's Answer

An excellent question. [The Pain Pump technique described is here.

First, I think that thinking of the energy you're working with as "dark" isn't helpful. I view energy that causes pain or illness as being out of balance. That's much more neutral, and that mind-set can really help in maintaining your own balance and health as you work with others. In other words, there's nothing inherently wrong with the energy. It can't hurt you—it's just out of balance for that person.

Second, as a good general practice, make sure that you hold the intention to keep your own energy distinct from that of the person you are working with. This page on not taking on your client's energy might help.

Third, when I do the Pain Pump technique I make sure that I am visualizing the energy running over the outside of my body, not through it. I'm not sure it really matters, but it makes me more comfortable. (BTW, I've used this technique on extreme pain and have never felt that I was taking on the energy of the person I was doing it for.)

Fourth, just don't do a technique you aren't comfortable with. Follow your intuition. There are so many different ways to do energy work, there's no need to do something that you're not sure about.

It's also really important that you take care of your own energy. You might like this page about healer self-care.

I hope that helps. Best wishes, both to you and your friend—Nancy

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Body Symptoms as Portals Into Your Life

----by Nancy Hausauer

In our culture, we consider "our self" to be a different thing from "our life." Two related but separate things. I AM Nancy, and I HAVE a life. The language of that shows that we consider our life to be a kind of object — something that we possess.

In my mind, "self" includes the things we conventionally think of—body, mind, emotions, spirit, energy (body-mind for short)—AND it also includes your life. One big, inseparable entity. Another way of saying it is that you are both a noun and a verb.

NASA depiction of wormhole travel

This "unified theory of self" yields some interesting approaches to healing.

Next time you have an imbalance in your body-mind—- one that causes pain, disfunction or illness—-try viewing it not as an isolated or purely physical event, but as a portal into your life—kind of like a "wormhole" in science fiction. Let your physical symptoms transport you to places in your life that need to be rebalanced.

  • Where does the portal/wormhole take you? Look around. What do you see? What do you learn? Are there any messages there, any information? Any people or objects who have something to tell you or give you?
  • It can be helpful to treat what you encounter as a dream, regarding the various objects, people and aspects as symbols. You can dialog with them to explore meaning.
  • It can also be helpful to stand up and allow your body to act out the meaning of the imbalance.

A Real-Life Example

This may seem pretty abstract, so here's an example from my own life.

My knees started bothering me, not just hurting, but actually "going out." On a physical, practical level, I could trace it back to a couple of falls I took while leaping up in the middle of the night to help my dog Buddy, who was ill. I could also see that doing a lot of kneeling on the ground to attend to him was stressing my knee joints and tendons.

But when I brought my consciousness to my knee pain and allowed it to give me a view into that other aspect of myself, my life, it took me to the kneeling state and to the realization that my concern for my canine companion was out of balance. I was too concerned, hyper-vigilant and attending to his needs without enough regard for my own. As much as I loved him, I needed to restore balance and put some healthy separation between us.

On a practical level, this awareness allowed me to resist kneeling to tend to him to the point of stressing my knee joints. On an emotional level, it helped me let go of identifying so much with his suffering.

That was much healthier. My knees improved and I expect them to improve even more over time.

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Reframing Illness As An Opportunity For Greater Wholeness

----by Nancy Hausauer

Physical and mental/emotional symptoms of distress are--distressing.

Illness, pain, anxiety, depression. When we have them, we want to fix them, fast. We don't normally stop to think about their "value." That's natural, a biological instinct.

But sometimes we're called to take a deeper look.

Maybe it's because we're in a profession that deals with other peoples' symptoms of distress, day in and day out.

Or maybe it's because we ourselves have to deal with a chronic ailment--our own suffering or that of someone we love.

In any case, sometimes circumstances push us into questioning the deeper WHY of physical/emotional ailments, turning our usual approach on its head and looking for possible usefulness or value in them.

Along that line of thinking, I love this quote by Dr. Martin Rossman, M.D., an expert in mind-body medicine:

...The symptoms of illness often can be seen as signals for attention or ways of making us aware of needs that are not being met. Thus if we learn to pay attention to our body's signals or symptoms in a certain way, we can actually learn something from an illness that helps to bring us back into alignment with our potential for wellness.

For we are always trying to maintain our alignment, balance, and growth in accordance with our purpose in life, whether we are fully conscious of that purpose or not. And there is a way of seeing and relating to symptoms that can actually help us to align the flow of energy in accordance with that purpose--a way that allows us to see illness as an opportunity. . . [emphasis mine]

--from "Illness As An Opportunity for Healing," Healers on Healing

Viewing illness as opportunity to realign with our purpose in life, our life-path--that's so much more empowering than the conventional medical model's approach.

Of course, we don't want to court illness or suffering as a source of wisdom, and of course we do want to use what conventional medicine has to offer.

But if life presents us with a potential path back to wholeness and balance--why on earth not take it? Why would we NOT explore an opportunity to "realign with the flow of energy in accordance with our purpose"?

If you can find Healers on Healing, by the way, it's a great book. (Published by Tarcher/Putnam in 1989. Don't know if it's still in print.)

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The Two Most Valuable Energy Healing Techniques

----by Nancy Hausauer

Just Show UpEnergy healing can seem complicated. You might wonder, is there a single best energy healing technique, or are there best techniques for particular situations?

It's good to have a repertoire of techniques and tools, but sometimes we can get bogged down in them. At its foundation, energy healing is simple. Let me illustrate with an example from my own life.

A Personal Story

Our dog, Buddy, died recently. My husband and I had a hard month trying to get him well and then, when we realized that his time to die was coming soon, trying to keep him comfortable.

For two weeks we kept thinking he was going to die imminently. We'd hover over him to see if he was still breathing. Then he'd snap back, diminished but still enjoying life. He needed intensive care, sometimes around the clock. I was wearing out, and of course I was so very sad about losing him.

Energy healing helped Buddy. It didn't save his life, of course, because it doesn't do that when it's someone's time to die. But it calmed him down and let him rest when nothing else would help. It gave him some space to savor his remaining time in this wonderful world.

But he wasn't the only one needing help. I was a train wreck, physically, mentally and emotionally. There were two invaluable, very basic "energy healing techniques" that helped me so much.

The Two Most Important Things You Can Do For Someone In Need

I was helped immensely by friends who did two very powerful things:

1. They held the loving intention to help me regain my balance, rebuild my strength and be able to do my best for my beloved dog.

2. They showed up.

Nothing fancy. Just their presence and loving intentions for our family steadied me, balanced me and helped replenish my drained energy.

Never Doubt That You Can Help

The reason I'm writing about this is that it's easy to doubt yourself, to think that you're not "enough." But if you have a friend or family member who's struggling with something difficult, all you really have to do is hold the intention to help them, and then show up—physically if you can or by phone, text, email or snail mail if you can't. If they want you to do energy healing for them, great. If they want you to hold their hand or wash their dishes or just listen, great. Whatever it is, you just do your best (what else can you do?), knowing this:

We are all energy beings, and your loving presence, however you express it, is energy healing at its simplest and most powerful. You ARE enough.

With so much gratitude for the people in my life who show up for me—Nancy

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The Healing Power of Joy: What Early Summer Has to Teach Us

----by Nancy Hausauer

Beltane ritual

Western culture is, for the most part, waaaaaaay too joy-deprived. I don't mean thrill-deprived. Cheap thrills are a dime a dozen. I mean genuine, deep-seated, heart-centered joy.

To me, this is a culture-wide second chakra deficiency. We tend to work too hard, minimize the need for pleasure and fun, and trivialize or even demonize what I would call simple, animal joy -- the joy of being alive, the joy of just being.

That's why I love the Celtic holiday of Beltane. Coming on May 1, it marks the beginning of the beginning of summer. A fertility holiday, it was traditionally celebrated with bonfires. Farm animals were decorated and blessed. Rituals to promote fertility (life force and creativity) were observed.

In the Pacific Northwest, where I live, this season is glorious. The the trees have come back all fresh and green, the rhododendrons and azaleas are blooming, the air is sweet with perfume from all the "green people."

For me, it's a yearly call to be joyful, a reminder that joy is more than a luxury. For those of us who tend to be over-serious and fun-challenged, it's a medicine. For energy healers, it's especially important to cultivate joy. We need to feed and balance our energy so we can keep doing the work we do without depleting ourselves.

How about you? Are you fun-deprived? Has it been too long since you felt joyful just to be alive?

Here are some ideas for "joy medicine":

  • Make a list of things that give you joy, and DO THEM! (Here are more detailed instructions for making your personal "Joyful Life Map.")
  • Learn more about your second chakra and how to support and nourish it.
  • Taking a cue from the Beltane bonfires, ask yourself, "What 'lights my fire'?" Journal about it. Pick one or two things that stand out and do them.
  • Take a break from your responsibilities and do something purely for pleasure and fun.
  • Stop and breathe in the energy of the season.
  • Celebrate your own beauty.
  • Feed all five senses with beauty and pleasure.
  • If you have small children or an animal companion, let them show you how to find joy in simple things.
  • Create something. Creation is an expression of life force, and it feeds both the second chakra and our joy in being alive.

Have fun! -- Nancy

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Tools To Focus Your Precious Life Energy

--by Nancy Hausauer


A few weeks ago, I introduced an exercise in self-discovery, "Who Do You Admire?" If you haven't done it yet, I recommend you scroll down a few posts (5) to the blog "Letting Your Highest Self Shine Through: An Equinox Contemplation," and give yourself that gift.

Below are a couple of followup exercises, to help you further focus your intentions for your life.

Personal Mission Statement

Why a personal mission statement? Intention is so powerful, and setting a personal mission statement helps you set an clear intention for your life (at least at this moment), and stay on track with it. It helps you channel your energy, conserve your energy, know what to say yes and no to. It helps create a sense of purpose, increase clarity, fine-tune your focus.

It can be one sentence or a few paragraphs, but here's a very simple template to use:

I, [your name here], intend to use my gifts and skills of x, y and z to [how you would like to leave the world better than you found it].

For example, my working personal mission statement is: I, Nancy Hausauer, intend to use my gifts and skills of communication, subtle awareness, creativity and radical thinking to help others expand their consciousness and heal their lives by moving beyond the current reality paradigm.

Definitely include words from the "Who Do I Admire" exercise.

This article is excellent if you need some more direction.

As an alternative, if a personal mission statement isn't your thing, try free-writing about "What Is Life Calling Me To?"

Life Balancing Exercise

  1. Now write down the major areas of your life (sleep, work, spiritual life, family, self-care, home chores, friends, fun, etc.). Include the percentage of time you spend cultivating your highest self and living your personal mission statement.
  2. Estimate the percentage of each day (or week or month) you spend doing each.
  3. Draw a large circle. Divide it into pie-shaped wedges representing those percentages.
  4. Consider: Are you making room for your unique qualities and your singular life-mission, as you understand it to be at this time?
  5. Draw another "pie chart" representing how you'd like your life to be.
  6. Compare. What do you learn? Does your behavior align with your highest intentions? Do you feel called to take any action or make any changes?

I encourage you to post both your life mission statement and your ideal "time pie" somewhere in your home where you can see them regularly.

Namaste, Nancy

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Remember: You Are Not Alone In This Endeavor We Call Life

----by Nancy Hausauer

earthworm stamp

Oh, happy, happy, happy! April is National Poetry Month, which gives me an excuse to post another poem.

This one, by Alison Luterman, is currently rocking my world. It speaks of the universe's support for us, "the invisible work that stitches up the world." It puts me in mind of a client who experiences the energy as an fine, gold web that holds her and supports her.

These lines are particularly powerful for me. "I stopped and let myself lean /a moment, against the blue/ shoulder of the air."

It helps me remember that we are always being carried, and I hope it does the same for you.

Invisible Work

by Alison Luterman

Because no one could ever praise me enough,

because I don't mean these poems only

but the unseen

unbelievable effort it takes to live

the life that goes on between them,

I think all the time about invisible work.

About the young mother on Welfare

I interviewed years ago,

who said, "It's hard.

You bring him to the park,

run rings around yourself keeping him safe,

cut hot dogs into bite-sized pieces for dinner,

and there's no one

to say what a good job you're doing,

how you were patient and loving

for the thousandth time even though you had a headache."

And I, who am used to feeling sorry for myself

because I am lonely,

when all the while,

as the Chippewa poem says, I am being carried

by great winds across the sky,

thought of the invisible work that stitches up the world day and night,

the slow, unglamorous work of healing,

the way worms in the garden

tunnel ceaselessly so the earth can breathe

and bees ransack this world into being,

while owls and poets stalk shadows,

our loneliest labors under the moon.

There are mothers

for everything, and the sea

is a mother too,

whispering and whispering to us

long after we have stopped listening.

I stopped and let myself lean

a moment, against the blue

shoulder of the air. The work

of my heart

is the work of the world's heart.

There is no other art.

Namaste, Nancy

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Energy Hygiene: 17 Simple, Everyday Ways to Tend to Your Energy

----by Nancy Hausauer


The Importance of Self-Care for Healers and Other Energetically Sensitive Folks

Why do you need special self-care if you're on a healing path?

Your sensitivity is enhanced as your energy/vibration becomes finer through meditation, spiritual work, or healing work. This makes you more sensitive to disturbances and it becomes more important to minimize external junk and to keep your field energized and your energy "clean" and flowing.

Energy Hygiene

Clearing your energy on a regular basis is important, as important as our daily physical hygiene habits (bathing, brushing teeth, etc.). It doesn't have to be involved, but gaining awareness of our subtle energies and having a conscious regimen of some sort to keep them clear helps keep us at our peak levels of wellness (whatever that is for each individual)--on all levels.

How Do You Know If Your Energy Is Out of Balance?

If you feel absolutely fabulous, your subtle energies are in tip top shape.

If you feel less than absolutely fabulous--for example, low energy, mentally foggy, emotionally upset for no obvious reason, ill, in chronic pain, have been having a string of accidents--you may need to do some clearing.

Keeping your field clear and balanced is important because illnesses and injury often manifest in the energy field first, before they show up in the physical body.

Energy Hygiene: 17 Simple Ways to Take Care of Your Energy

Clearing and caring for your energy doesn't have to be a complicated or esoteric process. You can take care of your energy by doing simple, everyday things. Adding the intention to care for your energy super-charges even the most humble task or experience.

  1. Belly breathe--especially fresh morning air

  2. Eat high quality food that makes you feel well and truly nourished

  3. Get good sleep--starting before before 10:30 p.m.

  4. Don't watch violent, disturbing or negative media

  5. Surround yourself with beauty in your home and workspace

  6. Wear clothes and jewelry that make you feel good

  7. Ground and center

  8. Get out into nature

  9. Get in the water

  10. Practice gratitude/appreciation

  11. Smile

  12. Laugh

  13. Hang out with people who make you feel great and encourage your highest self

  14. Sing

  15. Create something

  16. Serve others

  17. Meditate or pray

Pick two or three of these things--or other activities that you love--and practice them every day. Just like brushing your teeth, only more fun!

Namaste, Nancy

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Wolf Receives Energy Healing: A Video

A friend sent me this amazing and beautiful video, and I just had to share it.

In it, a wolf with a neurological disorder is given energy healing. By the second session, she is eager to receive it and goes into a deep state of rest or trance as the energy healer works with her. As the commentary notes, it's "a beautiful example of the trust that can be established with the animal kingdom and a beautiful example of how humanity could be behaving towards the entire natural world." Amen to that.

If your browser doesn't support the embed, or if you'd like to see it in a larger format, you can watch it here:

Do you have animal energy healing stories to share? I hope you'll share them on my Facebook page.

Your Home Reflects Your Energy (And How to Use Cleaning As An Energy Healing Tool)

--by Nancy Hausauer

It's that time of year: Spring Cleaning time. Why is Spring Cleaning (or any major clearing of your home) energetically important?


As life coach Martha Beck says, "Our living spaces are basically three-dimensional portraits of our inner lives. You can't de-clutter your living space without de-cluttering your inner life and vice versa."

Hmmm. . . Take a walk through your house. What do you see? How does each room feel? When you come home, what's your general feeling? Do you feel peaceful or agitated when you walk through the door? Does spending time at home make you feel energized or lethargic? Clear or foggy? Cheerful or downcast?

You can use the act of spring cleaning intentionally, to help clean up your energy system, open chakras and support energetic balance and flow. A good cleaning and decluttering can really shift your energy.

And the other way around, if you notice an irresistible urge to clean and declutter, it's usually a sign that your internal energy is in the process of shifting.

You don't have to undertake a whole-house-cleaning, if you don't want to. You can shift a lot of energy just by tackling one room or even one cupboard or drawer. Or if you're really strapped for time, just clear a single surface, such as a table or shelf, and create an altar or other eye-resting, eye-pleasing spot. This could be as simple as a vase of flowers placed with intention on your cleared surface. It'll help bring more coherence, harmony and order both to your home and your personal energy system.

This is a good example of how you can use any intentionally done activity, no matter how mundane, to heal and support your energy. Everything is energy, everything is connected and intention is a powerful force. So happy cleaning!

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Learn more about energy healing, including practical tips for more health and happiness. (Visit The Energy Healing Blog to see what you’ll be getting.) I’ll also give you two gifts: my "Seven Chakras at Glance" chart and "First Chakra: Get Beyond Anxiety To A Sense Of Peace And Security."

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Learn more about energy healing, including practical tips for more health and happiness. (Visit The Energy Healing Blog to see what you’ll be getting.) I’ll also give you two gifts: my "Seven Chakras at Glance" chart and "First Chakra: Get Beyond Anxiety To A Sense Of Peace And Security."

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